You are not my friend. You’re fake. One minute you’re hot. The next you’re cold. You’re not good for me. For my mental, emotional, or physical health. Since you came into my life you’ve brought nothing but pain and confusion. Others tried to warn me but I guess I wasn’t listening. You find a way to sneak into the lives of people like me and by the time we realize what you’ve done it’s too late. Well, I’m tired. I have had enough of you. I have tried being nice about it. I tried covering for you so people wouldn’t see the chaos you cause. Seriously, the longer you stay around the worse I feel. I was so much better before you arrived. I don’t know how many times I’ve been to the doctor because of you. I’ve gained weight. I’m depressed. I’m stressed. I can’t sleep. I know some people just accept you for who you are. As far as I’m concerned you can kick rocks with flip flops on because I cannot deal with you anymore. Peri, girl, bye.
I have read numerous posts and articles about menopause or should I say, perimenopause. If you are a woman in your 40s or 50s then you are in one phase or the other. I am still in the peri phase and have been for some years now. In an article in People’s Magazine, actress Gwyneth Paltrow says she was 45 years old when she started noticing a change in her body. ”But because menopause isn’t discussed too often, she says it’s easy to feel like you’re “losing your mind. I just thought it was so strange that there was nowhere that I could go to understand if everything I was going through was normal.” She also mentioned how her friends were going through the same thing but they weren’t talking about it.
There is this sort of isolation that takes place because one minute you’re fine and the next you’re not. You have “foggy brain” and there’s so much going on with your body that it takes you on this roller coaster ride. And that’s in addition to the hot flashes. I feel very fortunate to have a bestie who is experiencing this in real time with me. We talk and laugh about it often to keep from crying. She sends me articles on natural medicine and other options and we’re both very intentional about what we eat.
Former First Lady, Michelle Obama said, “I find that I cannot push myself as hard as I used to. That doesn’t work out for me. That when I tear a muscle or pull something and then I’m out. The recovery time is not the same. You wind up balancing between staying fit enough and being kind enough on your body to stay in the game.” This is so true. I hurt my knee in December and I’m still nursing it three months later.
Salma Hayek shares, “The doctor was asking me things like, ‘Are you easily irritable? Are you crying for no reason? Are you gaining a lot of weight really fast that doesn’t go away no matter what you do? Are you shrinking?’ Baby, when I tell you I lost 70lbs in 2021 I was ecstatic once I realized I was healthy and not sick. I purchased a new wardrobe and everything. By the end of 2022 I was gaining that weight back. By the end of 2023, I had gained all but 15lbs of the 70lbs I lost. And my body was in pain. I was depressed and frustrated that nothing I did seemed to work. I couldn’t get the weight off. I wasn’t and still am not ready to embrace this extra weight.
Some women like Tracee Ellis Ross are embracing perimenopause. They are ready to explore and eagerly await this new journey. I mean, really, what else can you do? You can fight it but the truth of the matter is it is a part of life. It’s encouraging to see this revolution happening around this topic and how women are removing the shame and stigma from the word and act of menopause. I am glad I have girlfriends to talk to. They remind me to be kind to myself and give myself grace. That is the common thread I’ve read throughout all of the articles.
In this season of my life I’ve had to say no more than I’d like but in turn I’ve said yes to self-care. And when my body speaks to me I listen. I have to. So, to all of the women out there who have this love hate relationship with Peri, or her sister, I feel you. Be kind to yourself. You are not alone.
Sources: https://people.com/health/celebrities-talking-about-menopause/ https://people.com/gwyneth-paltrow-perimenopause-symptoms-are-a-roller-coaster-exclusive-8405041#:~:text=Paltrow%20was%2045%20years%20old,was%20going%20through%20was%20normal.
Full-Time Woman 