When someone comes at, approaches, speaks to, addresses you in a disrespectful manner time and time again, it is difficult to refrain from ‘going off’ giving them a piece of your mind, or as the women in my culture do, give them that have you lost your (fill in the blank) mind look and proceed to check them (put them in their place).
One could say that it takes a lot of self-control which is a commendable trait and perhaps that’s what I carry during those moments when I bite my tongue, resist giving in to the above, smile, take numerous deep breaths, walk away and write about it. But, I’ll admit I don’t have self-control in every area of my life. Catch me when my patience and authentic kindness need refueling and you might catch words spoken and not written.
I was working with one of my students the other day and she shared how tired she is of people getting over on her (taking advantage of her), confusing her kindness for weakness. I nodded my head and smiled, thinking to myself, I know this story fairly well. This wasn’t about me though, it was a moment to impart wisdom.
“I know it’s hard, but don’t let the way people treat you turn you into something you’re not. In other words, don’t stop being the kind, loving person you are just because a person tries to take advantage of those very characteristics you possess. Now, don’t be a fool, a doormat for them to continue getting over on you. Set boundaries for yourself and keep it moving”.